Writing Well

Standing Next To Suicide

Mon, 29 May 2023 10:50:34 GMT

A reminder to keep connecting

They were always so happy who would've known?

They had so many friends and never alone

If he'd looked at me I would've said hi

But his head was down, couldn't catch his eye

I was busy I had to get home,

He looked distressed and I was alone

They had a wife and two kids, a house, a career

How could they leave all they held dear?

Everyday we stand beside them in queues

At the bus-stop, in shops

In the workplace, in schools

We're too busy to notice, too hurried to say

"How's it going?' "you Ok?" or even just "hey"

Don't be embarrassed, don't be afraid, there's no shame in saying "hey, how's your day?"

We all have a need for human connection

Every interaction can be the subtlest of intervention

Taking Note

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 20:24:24 GMT

A Mindful Post...

I've been watching this flower for a few days. I love the boldness of its shape and colour and how its petals thrown wide open. Then this morning before the sun had reached it, I noticed how its petals were closed and withdrawn. Maybe protecting itself from the cold and dark.

A reflection of me, when things seem dark I want to huddle under a blanket but this flower reminds me that the warmth of the sun will always come again and I too can fling my blanket aside and embrace life too.

A Post from LC

Tue, 02 Aug 2022 20:12:54 GMT

A post from LC

We know that the lockdown has been tough for everyone. But particularly for those people who are struggling with their mental health. So I thought I would talk about some of the positive things that have helped me through it, in the hope it will help others.

Staying connected with people, and with the world around us, is very important. I am relatively new to the online world, but I have been able to keep in touch with my friends on Facebook, when we weren't able to meet in person. I have also been able to keep in contact with my sister that way too, as she does practically everything online these days! I have to thank one of my best friends for setting me up on Facebook, as I didn't have a clue how to do it!

As well as the things that need doing, like housework, I try to find time every day to do something I enjoy, like reading a book, or playing word games on my laptop, like Scrabble. Since my weekly Dance Fitness class was cancelled back in March, I try to get some exercise each day, like going for a walk or a dance DVD.

The 'We Are Aware' Facebook page has been a huge help. I really enjoy the connections with everyone, such as the weekly quiz and the animal videos! It has really helped to know that I am not alone. I like to think that if you have a good day, the group needs you, and if you have a bad day, you need the group!

I hope this has helped you to know that if you are struggling, there is help available if you reach out for it. And that even when things are hard, it can help to focus on things that you enjoy doing, and that help you. Because the sunshine will always come out in the end.

Gratitude

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 21:40:09 GMT

A peer post of gratitude...

When I lived in Spain and felt like I had nothing and no one to turn to, I started to sit quietly and learn to be mindful and meditate. Learning to cultivate gratitude in my darkest moments literally. Saved. My. Life.

I read copiously about how to help myself, because I was lonely, frightened and desperate, and my poor, lovely partner didn't know how to help me: my disintegrating health was also beginning to damage him.

I started to think about what I did have, rather than what I didn't have. For the first time in my life, I began to think at the level of the solution and not the problem.

The result was miraculous. And Lo! I suddenly had less to complain about!

It was impossibly hard-going sometimes. Sometimes, when all my hope had absolutely evaporated into the oblivion of outer space, the only thing I was capable of feeling grateful for was to hope that I would feel grateful one day, in the future, perhaps.

Nevertheless, I started to say thank you for being alive and breathing. I started to say thank you - not sure to what or to whom - for things I normally took for granted like my breakfast, my hot bath, my bed, a lovely bee busying around on a flower...

I found joy in little things. I found joy in being able to stand up (because problems with my feet meant that sometimes I couldn't). It was wonderful to see the sun rise, to watch an eagle fly overhead, to grow my favourite pink rose in the garden and drink in its scent when it finally flowered.

I now feel so lucky to be alive. I'm eternally glad I didn't give up. If I had, I wouldn't be able to the smell roses any more, to watch the billowing clouds above me, taste my first cuppa of the day, see the stars riding the sky overhead, watch my lovely partner's face light up when he tells me one of his ridiculous, corny jokes, knowing with certainty that it will make me laugh.

It doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm in such a whirl or deep funk, that I don't remember to remember to be grateful. I still go two steps forward and one step back most weeks, and I still lose hope, frequently and for ever.

But, my ability to say thank you to life is like a prayer; the best prayer I ever learnt, and it still saves my life every time I say it. I say thank you as often as I can, in every way that I can, and it helps me to step forward, little by very little, into the rainbow light of my goals and dreams ahead of me.

A Fallen Woman

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 21:30:57 GMT

A Heartfelt Peer Poem

I have fallen from grace, a fallen woman.

Fallen through the cracks, through the net there to save me.

I moved across the country to be here, where I knew no one. I fall.

“You are away from your abuser. Now carry on with your life”. I fall.

I brought up my children, they live their own lives. Independent, a credit to me. I fall.

After decades of abuse, I slip through the net. I fall.

Alone, exhausted, though not a victim. No, I am a survivor. Yet I fall.

“ You don't have young children, we can't help you”. I fall.

“ You're not on income support, we can't help you”. I fall.

“There are domestic abuse support groups”. They traumatise me more. I fall.

I am an older woman, invisible. I fall again, this time I am caught and held.

I am listened to and heard. I am held.

I open my eyes, I am held.

I look around and can see a way forward. I am held.

I am unsteady on my feet, I am held.

I take steps. I am held.

The path is lined with understanding, encouragement, support. I am held.

I feel calm, self-reliant, purpose, laughter, confidence. I am held.

I am valued. I walk. I am held.

I met people who are now friends. I can hold and am held.

I was a fallen woman, I fell through the net. Thank you We are Aware, I am held.

One woman dies every three days at the hands of their abuser or ex abuser in the UK. It wasn't until 2017

that women aged sixty to seventy four were included in the statistics. Women of every age should be

included.

What is good mental health?

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 21:23:46 GMT

What is Good Mental Health? A collective of views and essays on what good mental health actually is

What is good mental health? by AM

We’re born. And we already have some connections made from inside the womb. We’re constantly trying to make sense of things. We use all the information thrown at us to make things make sense. We find our own formulae and logic. If the world around us is inconsistent, our minds still try to make sense of it in whatever imaginative ways we can and create logic to work to. Sometimes we adapt well, sometimes not. Sometimes we wire things up to get through and it’s only later in life that we find ourselves surrounded by a world that no longer makes sense when we realise our formula was wrong!

Getting by doesn’t mean we have all the answers and doesn’t mean our mental health is good. It can just be our flawed logic has never been challenged at its weakest points.

Life is an undulating sea of goings-on. We get rocked by bereavements, boasted by good news, scarred by bad experiences, feel validated by successes.

I’ve never tried surfing, and probably never will! But the poised and balanced surfer seems to show something. If we can navigate the waves, we can stay on top of things. If we get knocked down, we can always get back up.

If we are struggling with life we lose our sense of balance; we lose our poise. We misjudge undulations and our reactions are out of kilter. We fall down more than we would like, and if you fall down too often it gets much more tiring to get back up.

Equally, those that feel they have life sussed out can see life not as undulating sea, but as a solid surface- like ice. They roll over the same ups and downs daily with ease. For them, everything is as it should be. Maybe this will get them through life, or maybe one day a significant event cracks the ice. Suddenly everything that felt sure has gone, and they are left floundering having never learnt to surf!

Not everyone’s patch of undulating sea is the same and not everyone is on the same journey facing the same waves at the same time.

Good mental health is not just coping with the waves when they come. It is having a life jacket; practising your surfing and your poise in calmer waters; being as prepared as you can; using support and being open to learn new surfing techniques

It’s wanting to stay upright; navigating as best you can; but knowing some waves will still knock you down- but you can get back up

What is Good Mental Health?

There are so many ways of looking at this.

If we know what we're looking for we can explain it better

Can we personify good mental health?

Can we pick out a role model or two- NLP stylie and say these people show aspects of good mental health?

Firstly can we? As we work through the A-list celebrities down to Z, through the world of sport, politics, etc. Is there anyone we can say they have good mental health?

Even if we picked someone out, do we genuinely know them well enough to know what they have experienced and how well they have adjusted to it to feel confident that they have good mental health- and who knows what tomorrow brings!

Secondly, do we even know what we are looking for ?

Someone who is happy?

Someone with a positive outlook?

Someone with a strong mind?

Someone who has been through the depths of trauma, survived, and is stronger because of it?

Someone with a wealth of resilience?

Someone able to get back up after being knocked down?

Everyone has been tested in their lives. Some more than others. Some more painfully than others. Some have been better supported to process trauma and move forwards.

Good mental health- is it a today thing?- or an inner balance that will see us through the long term?

If we found our shining example of good mental health, they might meet unmanageable trauma tomorrow that challenges the very values around which they have built their lives, and lead to an episode of mental strife.

What is good mental health?

Maybe it is bigger than the individual. Maybe it requires a community. We need social networks to support us. Without a community understanding and supportive of being mentally inclusive we will all be at risk of mental pain.

If we listen, support, connect and bridge the gaps maybe we can find good mental health between us

Without a social collective approach to mental health, maybe we will struggle

Just Like You- and other poems

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 20:37:23 GMT

Autism - A perspective by the amazing Lauren Smith

Just Like You

I want to have a close friend,

I want to enjoy my studies at college,

I want to live independently in the future,

I want to achieve my ambition of attending university,

I want to fall in love and experience a romantic relationship,

I want to get a good job,

I want to be happy and successful,

Just like you!

I want my voice to be respected,

I want my ideas to be appreciated,

I want to experience the wonder of the world,

I want to explore natural beauty at its depths,

Just like you!

So, the next time you want to discriminate,

victimise or isolate a person with autism,

Please remember we are just like you,

Deep down – the same as everyone else,

We just act differently on the surface!

Meet Me Halfway

You don’t understand the depths of my emotion,

When you push me into doing things I feel uncomfortable with.

You don’t truly understand the intensity of the anxiety I experience,

So, don’t say that I don’t meet you halfway.

To walk down the street with bustling crowds and flashing lights,

To sit in a class full of commotion and chaos,

To sit in the canteen, desperate for friendship, a sense of belonging,

Causes me immense anxiety and makes me urge to escape.

At college, I have to mask my personality,

Battle my constant fears,

And try to act up to any expectations you set,

And you have the audacity to say I don’t meet you halfway.

I might be lucky – I have all that I need.

But when my anxiety and negative self-talk overflows, I crumble.

Obviously, I’m lucky – autism is a gift, a treasure, something to be proud of,

But I struggle immensely with almost everything you take for granted.

Look at how far I’ve come,

I’ve survived the shudders of secondary school, got through prom,

And started college all on my own.

Would you rather me make continual but gradual progress, or do you want me

to fail and break down under pressure?

There’s all or nothing in my world – it’s called black and white thinking –

struggling to read between the lines,

I either do something I feel happy and content with or I do absolutely nothing at

all.

So, when you push me into doing something: role plays, presentations, a work

placement...

I refuse and break down, simply because it’s overwhelming; how do you expect

me to cope?

I know you think you know how to help me; you work in the field of inclusive

practise,

But actually, you don’t know me – I am an individual with autism.

I am the only one who knows what’s best,

You don’t know me – but I do! Don’t try and put words into my mouth – trust me

– it doesn’t work!

My knowledge probably comes across as intimidating,

I’ve researched the condition endlessly.

I’ve devised a set of my own coping mechanisms,

What works for one child with autism, probably won’t work for me – recognising

individuality is the key!

Socialising is draining – exhausting and overwhelming,

To say hello to a friend is just as hard for me as starting a job is for you –

daunting and frightening,

I have less social energy than you to start with,

So, imagine, how tired I feel by the end of every day – any additional stress and

anxiety causes a shutdown – this causes an inability to function or communicate

at all.

I may be socially inept, considered as unsociable,

But, sometimes your social skills can be just as poor,

I don’t think you realise how excruciatingly difficult it is for me to make friends

at the best of times,

It becomes near impossible to develop a friendship with added pressure.

The frustrations I experience continually, on a day to day basis, may seem

unimportant to you – ridiculous maybe,

You can block out the world whenever you want – I can’t,

I am constantly trapped in a world which seems isolating, confusing and

demoralising – I feel deflated.

Yet you feel you can make comments, like ‘you’re not meeting me halfway.’

Some may say I’ve been sheltered, protected from the world,

I’ve felt secure for too long,

Well, I’m now in the outer world – being thrown into the deep end,

And I’ve instantly realised one of the most important things.

I’ve said it before and will continue to say it until the message is clear,

Autism is a spectrum condition, but not every person on the spectrum is the

same!

The fact is often missed as people with autism share certain traits,

Honestly, we all have different needs and one box doesn’t help us at all – we

don’t want to be categorised into what you see as the ‘norm’ or ‘correct way of

society.’

I am a person with autism – I am human and I have feelings,

I have a voice and a right to express my own valued opinions,

So, next time you imply you want me to meet you halfway,

Question your knowledge beforehand and consider how making unfair,

judgemental, detrimental comments will help me cope.

I will continue to fight for my rights – I’ve fought from the second I was born,

I believe, I should be respected and my differences embraced,

My needs challenged but at my own pace,

My positive contributions and achievements should be acknowledged for one

and celebrated for another.

I think you should start listening to my voice, quiet but fierce,

And meet me halfway!

Don’t discriminate or stereotype – just accept and support me, in the suggested

ways!

Autism awareness is a highlight for me,

No matter how many books you’ve read, videos you’ve watched or people you’ve

spoken to about the subject,

If you haven’t walked my long trudge of a path,

You don’t have the true understanding of the disability.

That’s right – I have a disability,

A hidden disability, where guilt, shame, upset, anger and anxiety threaten to

trickle through, when I’m overwhelmed,

My life is a battle – a rollercoaster – a challenge,

So, maybe you should, for once, meet me halfway!

I Have A Voice

Presumptions defining autistic people are incorrect,

The stigmatism surrounding the condition is demoralising,

We need to join together to bust the myths,

And show the true colours of the autism spectrum.

I have a voice,

Everyone has a voice,

We should all have the opportunity to communicate,

Communication is essential; a vital skill for survival in the socially orientated society.

Just because I’m autistic,

It doesn’t mean I am incapable of hearing what others say,

understanding language, decision making or expressing myself.

I can use words to tell you how I feel,

But at states of high anxiety, overwhelm or frustration, I turn to poetry.

Please do not talk about me behind my back,

for I can hear the whispers you attempt to hide.

Please do not discuss my life with others before I give my permission;

I have the same rights as anyone else.

Please do not assume I don’t understand what you say, my strong intellect allows me to

comprehend more than you can imagine.

Please do not assume I am voiceless, because I’m autistic.

I may be painfully shy at times,

But my thoughts are loud and fierce.

When I talk, people are either shocked or just disregard my voice,

“Was that a whisper from the lonely corner I just heard?”

I can speak for myself and educate others – using my voice,

Before you make assumptions or judgments, you should listen... listen to my voice.

Maybe if you listen,

You’ll discover the depths of a mystical world,

You’ll capture and embrace my emotions,

You’ll learn something new about the wacky world we live in,

And I might just listen to you.

Hear... Listen... Understand,

The accumulation of our thoughts is probably greater than yours,

Trust me, if you listen to the autistic individual, you will learn.

We should stand to give a voice to the voiceless – we need our voice to be heard...

You need to listen.

A Short Poem On Advice

Sun, 01 Aug 2021 16:27:39 GMT

A comment on "advice"

My goodness!

What a radical and wonderful idea

Now you've put it like that, suddenly it's oh so clear!

Eureka! I see clearly now

The answer was so simple

The stars have suddenly aligned

And now begin to twinkle!

With no weight upon my shoulders

I am floating like a feather

Now I've taken your sage advice

And pulled myself together....

A Poem About Tribe

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 16:27:37 GMT

A Poem about the importance of tribe

A girl so sick of being tired

of holding it together

began to build a fortress

to withstand the cruelest weather

the plans were drawn, the bricks were laid

the mortar set to harden

and thorny brambles overtook

her once abundant garden

Every guest had been rejected

and been banished from her door

and ships that passed too closely

all laid wrecked upon the shore

all invitations had been shredded

or were stamped "return to sender"

and knuckles bruised from knocking

on a door marked "do not enter"

The fortress stood for many years

never to crumble or give in

a symbol of protection for the little girl within

until the hurt began to fade and clearer was her vision

the child inside discovered she had built herself a prison

She stepped outside the fortress

to wander and explore

and found the sunlight hurt her cheeks

and her feet a little sore

she found the courage to walk on

to trust and feel again

and find some others walking similar terrain

she felt thankful for their company

and hopefully concluded

that perhaps there was a place for her

amongst the walking wounded

A place of understanding, where others felt the same

a place she saw no judgement when she called her beast by name

where she could roar and show her scars

and be met with love and care

where people give a knowing glance and whisper

"we are aware"

Some days her cheeks still blister when the sunshine burns too bright

and the fortress seems to beckon

when the demons come at night

yet here she stands amongst the rubble

of a fortress built from pride

no longer a lost and lonely child

for now she's found her tribe

A New Life

Tue, 01 Jun 2021 16:27:35 GMT

A New Life and other Poems by BK Edwards

A New Life by BK Edwards

The cold seen through the mist.

Green shoots begin to sprout,

As more of us can get out.

We begin to come out of our hibernation.

As they start to roll out the vaccination.

Flowers bring back colour and cheer.

We start to feel that spring is here.

Reawakening our souls to life.

Breaking through the world of strife.

A new season

A fresh reason

To celebrate, new life.

Daffodils growing tall and bright

Herald the increasing Light.

Hope springs up into Easter.

As friends and families bubbles get together.

Celebrating new life and a new beginning.

As we have the sense of winning.

The battle is finished,

The war is won

In this new season, we can live again.

Be revived for hope is alive.

As the veil is lifted now torn in two.

When we finally get to meet,

May we appreciate the people we greet.

Learn to be grateful, thankful for what we have.

Take care of our minds, make time to relax.

May this season bring recovery.

As love begins to reach us, and friends come to meet up.

As love, kindness and hope come into view.

May this be the dawn of living anew.

Journey Forward by BK Edwards

As we make this journey forward,

Many obstacles along the way.

We need to learn to listen,

And also, to be heard.

We have to learn new skills,

And ways in which to cope.

We will come up against locked doors,

But beyond them there is hope.

Let's develop strategies,

and believe in ourselves.

So when we come upon a door,

we know how to cope.

Gather all that we have learnt,

No point leaving it to lay,

We need to take it with us,

And use it day by day.

So now we move together,

Empowered and in control.

Along the road to recovery,

for that's our ultimate goal.

Thank you for those that have listened,

And those that have understood.

And all who'll be there along the way,

As we make our journey forward.

Be Kind, Be Wise by BK Edwards

The average emotion lasts about 90 seconds.

Then it gets driven by thoughts and perceptions.

We need break the cycle.

Use Wise Mind and imagine,

A different scenario.

A new image in our minds eye.

New ways to cope, not just get by.

We gain strength from our pain.

Change the pathways of our brain.

Be positive and make new friends.

Find acceptance and new perception.

Learn to let go of our problems.

Try Mindfulness and meditation.

Learn to observe the small things.

Like the sun and seasons in nature.

Taking the focus away from the future.

Visualise a safe place in your mind, and go there.

When things lead you to despair.

Practice using skills even when you are well.

Encourage yourself, use affirmations.

Try to coach yourself to say positive things.

One day, you might even start to believe them.

So be kind to yourself, take one step at a time.

Try these new skills they could help change your mind.

The Positive and the Negative

Fri, 09 Apr 2021 20:29:42 GMT

An insight....

Thanks Sarah!

Introduction

Tue, 30 Jul 2019 21:23:35 GMT

A space for views, comments, ideas, creativity from our peer community

A space for self-expression for our peer community. We support an amazing group of individuals with a range of life experiences, knowledge and understanding. We feel these people have so many of the answers- and questions that need to be asked- they just need to be listened to